You make me smile :)

2007-11-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

I am so happpyyyY!!! =D my dear drove mum here to bring me some really nice home-cooked food...! really miss them... so sweet of mum to cook and bring it all over for me! thank u...:) and finally got to see my dear after a whole week!! i really missed u.... so happy to see u today... and i think im the happiest and luckiest girl ever to have you by my side!!! :) I love u!! :) *muack*

2007-11-10T23:46:00.000-08:00

2007-11-10T23:37:00.001-08:00

He is the BEST performer alive!!! my goodness, when i watch Michael Jackson perform i can't take my eyes off him cos im so afraid i'll miss a dance move or a special effect... I think he is the only performer who can stand on a live stage and not move for 10 minutes and get away with it!!! the fans were just chanting his name in one of the vids where he froze in a pose for like 1-2 mins and everyone was just waiting with bated breath, then he sprang into action!!! ahhhhh im so happpyyyyy... watching MJ videos of his live performances on youtube make me so happpyyyy!!! he's really good... i mean how many consecutive no 1s did this guy have?? 7!!!!!!!!! how is that possible maygod.. he rocks!! hahaha i think ive watched so much that i can rmb all his dance moves for billie jean n smooth crminal alr hahahhaa... love it when he nods his head when he dances to "annie are u ok, are u ok, are u ok annie!!" hahahahaha :D MJ forever!!!

2007-11-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

Bcos I really like this pic :)

wahhhhh im so full and happyyyy after eatg with Val at the ichiban boshi place at JP!! hahaha was really starving when i went there, jus gobbled down my food ha.. didnt eat much for lunch I realised...! :) then i bought bubble tea! My POWPOW cha HAHAHA... :D yes, im really happy from my food!! esp good food hee...

bleah ive got to get down to studyg faster!! today i was speeding up so ha that's gd!! i shall keep that up ha...:) yay val's gonna stay over next wk, so ive got company!! :) ( though il stil try to get ben down!!) :D lalala feeling happy for some reason.. :) maybe its the bubble tea!! :D ok im high..

well today's the last day of sch! haha managed to have lunch with the rest.. except yaya who ran away!!!

2007-11-04T08:58:00.000-08:00

I've just had dinner with mum n ben(finally!) at jurong point's pizza hut ha...:) they came over to take me out to dinner..:) mum was really sweet to make me soup n bird's nest!! tho ben insists they look like sth i shall not name here but the image is now stuck in my mind ha..:) well, he had the soup instead ha...:)

It's raining now, and I hope dear doesn't catch a cold.. he was soaked when he went home... think he had a shower and knocked out... :)

I havn't been able to see u as much this 2 weeks and I really missed u.. U're the only one who can touch my heart and I'm only truly happy when I'm with u.. thanks for putting up with me sometimes, I know that there are times when it hasn't been easy and I made u worry.. but pls dun, cos at the end of the day, there are no secrets, no hidden thoughts between the both of us...
You're still my dear, no matter what.
This means more to me than u could ever imagine.. and I love u for all that uve done for me.. It's been one year and more.. I can't wait for the rest of my life... :) I love you, ben. :)

.............

I've been trying to study and i feel so unmotivated..sighs.. this has just been a bad sem... mentally.. i dunno, im just not prepared mentally for wk i think.. didnt start out well.. n maybe it's got to do with the subjs im doing... hopefully when next sem comes, il be doing things i really like... yea im studying... sooooo slooowwwlyyy... but as my dear says: Mind over body!! hahaha :)

My circle of acquaintances is growing, while my close friends seem to be shrinking.. kinda saddens me.. I can count on one hand how many close frens i have... ii jus dun like this competitiveness that im seeing, this climbing over people to get ahead, this 'you're not doing much for me i dun need to know u' attitude.. i hate it n honestly it irks me.. I hate it when people think that they can jus steamroll over me, that I'm a pushover. close frens wld tell u im not. But then again, if u dun know me well enough to know that, u never need to.

Im tired. really so. I know who the important people in my life are.

2007-10-23T17:32:00.000-07:00

haha yay im in Prof D's lecture now and I cant open my eyes... ahhhh... just do the lect and we can leave!! ahhhhh my eyes... im so so so tireddd... sighs..

There were many things that I thought abt before I opened this window and now ive got nothing in my head!! hahaha

I'm going a little Harry Potter and Ginny-mad haha... They are the best couple! they should be tgt! ive been re-watching the HP movies and I discovered fan-made videos on youtube abt harry and ginny!! haha she's so pretty! :)

been missing dear.. hope I can see him on thurs, if not, then on fri or the wkend... :) I miss u!! Hmmmmm and I'll always be there for u! :)

2007-10-09T03:22:00.000-07:00

Some people are so fucking irritating that I don't care if I don't talk to them ever again.

2007-09-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

HAPPY ONE YEAR!! :)

Nara still serves the best food...:)

Dear.. we've been thru so much in this past year that tonight seems like a culmination of everything that we've had to go thru.. It hasn't been easy, things have gotten difficult sometimes...but we've always stuck it thru, we've always faced them together...I don't recall a time when u havnt been by my side to weather thru the problems together... You're all and more that I could have asked for...I'm so happy that I've been able to spend this special day with YOU.. It's been a year filled with great joy, cos u've been by my side... And here's to many more together dear!!! :)

I love you.

2007-09-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

Ohman... im so tireddd... i think im goin to drop right into my bed after i finish this... ;p
GOOD JOB TO EVERYONE AT PAPARAZZI!!! =D and to everyone who came down to watch!! :) It was definitely a gd exp.. had nva been backstage helping out with props before...=) really stressful, but really fun.. ahhaa.. i dun think il ever look at props on a set the same way again!! :) BIG hugs to everyone!! :)

eck am back in hall.. qt happy to be bac acty, it's just that this means i have to start doin wk.. there are too many things to do!!! but i will persevere!! Right after i nap..:D THEN il start studying....:)

And Sonya!!! u cant leave before we meet again!! i know its my fault!! so sry but the week's been hell... we will meet!! Wed should be ok!! =) get back to me on the time? :)

oookkkkk.... dropping into bed.

2007-08-25T01:32:00.000-07:00

I have been going on an'Angel' (more specifically season 5) and buffy spree for the past two days... I think ive read everything on wikipedia abt the episodes for season 5 and now i know Spike as if he's my best bud HAHA... ohman the hotness that it James Marsters... or rather spike!!! hothothot!! :D haha he's damn funny, he has one of the best lines in the show... in one episode, he and angel go on and on abt a very 'serious' convo that goes sth like:
Spike: They have the savagery! I'm talking abt something primal here!'
Angel: All u can think of is savagery, mankind has evolved here!!
(They both then glare at each other, squaring off face-to-face, before Wesley interrupts tentatively)
Wes: Is there sth I should know?
Spike and Angel: No.
Wes: Well it just looked like u were having a really serious discussion.
(Spike and Angel pause)
Spike: Ok. If there was a fight between an astronaut and a caveman, who would win?
Wes: ......
Wes: You've been arguing fo the past 14 mins... (pause)Do the astronauts have weapons?
Spike: No.

hahahahhahaha omg that was the most hilarious part of the show ever...:D Lovelove!!

2007-08-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

Pictures!! =) Joy's Bday and Mine!! =D

Poor Ben is wincing cos of the super bright flash ha! :) But i like this pic!

Elmo!!!

My birthday at crystal jade! :)

Deardear, me and Joy!

Dear and I :)

Famliy!

2007-08-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.daneldon.org/about/index.html

They don't want to be called heroes, because they felt that there was nothing heroic or polite about sticking a camera into the faces of the wounded. But I applaud them, and Dan Eldon, for it takes true strength and courage, to take a photograph, live the glory, and fight the demons at night.

Please watch this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMKXyspGIjg&mode=related&search=
He lived more, more than anyone of us ever will.

2007-08-14T04:21:00.000-07:00

Convo with YAYA! On Mon night!! :)

Irreplaceable poem
hmmm...maybe you can text him or sth before you sleep?

You are my everything (So are you...)
ya... or maybe il call him at 11...
can get faster reply ha

Irreplaceable poem
-___-
you just said you don't want to call him

You are my everything (So are you...)
il give myself till 11

Irreplaceable poem
*takes phone away from wanyu and hides it in scary neighbour's room*
now you can't call him

You are my everything (So are you...)
il brave scary neighbour for him!! hahaha

Irreplaceable poem
*takes phone away and flush it down the toilet bowl*

You are my everything (So are you...)
*GASP

Irreplaceable poem
now you can't brave the sewage for him

You are my everything (So are you...)
ure evil...

A few mins later...

You are my everything (So are you...)
i jus called!!!!!!!! :)

Irreplaceable poem
*takes phone away from wanyu and hangs up on ben*

You are my everything (So are you...)
*gasp!! noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*rescues hp

Irreplaceable poem
too late
hung up already

You are my everything (So are you...)
hahaha ure EVIL!!!

Another convo!

Irreplaceable poem
ah! i see you're talking abt the little green man behind me

You are my everything (So are you...)
U HAVE IMAGINARY FREN

Irreplaceable poem
yes, his name is midori

You are my everything (So are you...)
!!
HE HAS A NAME

Irreplaceable poem
of course he has a name
what do you think he is? imaginary?

You are my everything (So are you...)
ok hi midori

Irreplaceable poem
midori is waving at you
can you see him?

You are my everything (So are you...)
*i am stopping this convo
EHHH TODAY NOT GD DAY TO TALK ABT IMAGINARY FRENS

Irreplaceable poem
ohhhh
shit.
now i'm scared.
the light in my room shall remain switched on
i'm thinking of random stuff now!!! aah!!
*tries to get distracted*
ok i shall distract myself with dbsk

(haha!) :)

2007-08-13T02:43:00.000-07:00

You make me smile, when I thought the only thing I could do was cry..

You have a place in my heart, irreplaceable by anyone..

You have that laugh, that never fails to make me smile..

You've given me a happiness, that I once thought I could only dream of..

I love you.

2007-08-09T08:20:00.000-07:00

I need to get hold of the digicam from mum!! ahhh wanna upload the pics... :) yay ben sent me back to hall... so busy but he took time out to send me bac... thank you dear.. :D *hug* hmmm hope u can make it tmr, if u cant..... I -chope- you for sunday alr!!!! muahaha... :) hmmmmms today was esp difficult... cos she kept nagging at me.. til i got a headache... and i still have it (sigh)... but i jus hav to see u, and i start smiling again... always feel so happy when ure arnd... Our one year is coming up! so looking forward to it.. here's to the rest of our lives! :)

2007-08-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

thurs and fri was great!! =) Dear picked me up from sch on thurs, then we went to wheelock's sun restaurant for jap food...:) Boy it was gd! love it that these restaurants come up with such original items on their menus that they make sakae's food seem like such dull fare! :) After a great dinner, we went some place quiet and sat in the van and talked for awhile, before going bac to hall... I love the present dear.... I didnt expect it, but the earrings are really beautiful!! :) I was so happy that u cld wait till past 12mn and be the first to wish me Happy Birthday!! :) Thank you..... for a wonderful time... :)

went to school on fri and zeinab and nat were so sweet! haha came down to the benches and saw the birthday cake on the table...:D choc!!!!!! haha it ws really gd! :) Thanks for the card, the cake, the wallet and the lipgloss!! hahaha...:)

Fri was THE night! haha whole family went down to crystal jade to hav dinner... ;) Food was good...:) the company was even better! :) haha i shall upload the pics soon! mum bought me the entire series of Harry Potter! cos she knew that i'd been wanting to read the last bk but didnt wanna buy jus the last bk. so sweet! BIG thanks!!! :) was all smiles that night... with dear beside me and the whole family arnd...:) happy!!!

went to meet sonya during the hols at vivocity! was gd to see her again... some things REALLY dun change! she kept me waiting again.. hahaha but tts not what i meant...:) it was jus gd to slip bac into the old pattern, to sit arnd, hav lunch and catch up on everything.... Thanks for the necklace! *hug*

To all who wished me happy bday.............................................Thanks too!!! :)

2007-08-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

wahhh! havnt blogged for such a long time.. :) and now that sch's gonna start soon, i shall begin again! haha.. :)

Had THE workshop today... ohmygod... really can die... its such torture listening to him that i dunno whether i shld kill him or myself first... -___- haiyo.. then today was stupid comments day.. pple made the most inane remarks today... For eg: upon seeing us on the bus, 'oh! so u guys came up before me.' -__-" hais.. the poor soul... BUT! shooting was fun! and we received pretty gd comments for it too! haha... final cut pro IS fun.. listening to him's not.....

yay! tmr is THE day before THE day!!! hahaha.. doesnt make any sense...:D dear's celebrating my bday with me tmr! and im so happy...:) havnt seen him in 4 days... really miss him alot! hmmm... i know that u cldnt make it these days over cos of ur wk, tho i wish i cld hav seen u, dun worry ok dear? I understand...:) just happy that im finally meeting u tmr...:) so excited abt the present!! haha.. u still refuse to tell me....;p but dun worry, il like anything that u give me... and dun worry abt not being able to give me the best, cos whatever that u give me, is already the best... :)

Friday's gonna be celebration with the family! And dear! yay! gonna eat out haha...=) hmmm kinda miss hm, after not being home for abt a wk... esp my niece! so super cute! :) this is gonna be a happy 2 days!! =)

I miss you..

2007-05-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

haha yes im updating!!! I felt like death warmed over this morning... bleah...had a slight fever.. =( but im ok now! =)
celebrated mother's day and mum's bday together ytd... thought today is the actual date for her bday...=) jus staying at home to eat dinner... waiting for ben to come over for dinner after his lesson... =) started work alr.. and my, its really tiring.. hahhaa n i still havnt gone to the driving place to start lessons!!!!!! n i havnt started knitting!!!!! ok la but i know now where's the place hahhahaha... :) at least i checked it out!! :) a BIG happy belated bday to JAL... hope u had a great time at east coast.. :) stupid taxi uncle tho hahaha.. :) well, sure hope u liked the surprise! :) bleahhh i dun feel like goin to work tmr......... can i take one more day of MC pls???!!

2007-05-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

I went prawn fishing todayy!!!!!!!!! :) so fun!!!!! Thank u dear... for a wonderful day... :)

went to watch spiderman 3 with dear at 130... ohhh it was really gd... loved the plot.. can easily see why it was the mostexpesive one to make outta the 3.... Venom n Sandman were great... kirsten dunst actually looked gd, which is a surprise hahaha... ;p but it ws really good... so do catch it.. :)

Then dear, mum and I went pasir ris park to prawn-fish!!!!!!! ahhaha so fun!!! We caught 11 prawns and 1 fish!! acty the fish was a fluke, cos there were supposed to be no fish in the prawn pond haha... but my dear managed to catch one still! haha the prawns were great... came home n cooked them... hahha yay! its much easier than fishing... cos the fishing rod has the reel and all, but prawn fishing doesnt need reels! just dip it in!!! hahhaa... had lotsa fun... definitely sth I can see myself doing with my dear again n again... just spend a lazy afternoon with my dear... prawn-fishing... :) yay! today was a happpppyyyyyy happpppyyyyy dayyyyyy!!! :)

2007-04-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

Things to do during hols!!!

- Work
- Tuition
- pick up knitting
- Go learn how to drive!! (ahhh exciting but scaryyy)
- Go for baking classes
- Read lotsa books (ok shall try to refrain from romance, haha who am i kidding)
- Shopping!!
- Go out loads with dear before sch starts and I can't as much anymore :p
- Plan for the BIG dayy!! :)

2007-04-25T09:14:00.000-07:00

yay!! exams are finally over hahhaa... =) no more staying up til 2am.. no more waking up at 6am to studyyy... haha trust me, the latter's much worse... hmm but cant go out with the guys tmr... mum just told me today that my aunt passed away just... so i gotta help out at the shop tmr while my dad goes attend to things... yuppp.. so cant join ya'all...... but have fun!! and tell me abt the donuts! :)

Finally can spend all the time int he world i want with my dear!!! :) *dances arnd in glee*

2007-04-21T03:09:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm.. I think I should go get my eyes checked soon during the hols... Why? becos recently, Ive resorte to enlarging everything on my screen from the prev 100% to 125%!!! Hmm i dunno maybe its becos ive been putting the laptop further away from me, cos my notes are in front of it (ha!), or I need new specs... =( but 125% is so.... comfortable, dun even hafta starin my eyes or anything... :D

ON friday, after coming bac from JP, went to CS to print stuff and then to NIE to get bac my history termpp... haha yay! I got an 'A'! my first ever history pp ive written.. haha he liked my 'provocative style of writing and sharp comments'! hahaha... :) Im happy, cos it makes up 30% of exams, n i hope itl go a long way in helping me get that A for my final grade for hist!!

Was on the bus on friday... and it just occurred to me that I wldnt want to be studying anything else other than what Im doing now.. yes, 105 may suck and we may all want to strangle leong, but I cant imagine doing anything else.. at least I'm doing sth I love, and every step that I make now, brings me closer to my goal... For once, I'm studying something that I'm passionate abt, and that I know I can do well in, so really, I shouldnt be complaining anymore... :)

816 and HH101... yuppppp, back to 816.. :D

ohya...staying in hall this wkend.. im soooo bored.... but mum n ben are coming later to bring me dinner! yay to them... :) I better study harddd... No regrets!!!

2007-04-19T01:54:00.000-07:00

I stand alone
In this crowded world
Too many images
Too many sounds
Too little me
I close my eyes
Calmness a companion I yearn
Loneliness my bedfellow
In a whirl
The faces blur
Into colours
That fade
With each step I take
Crimson footprints in my wake
Mocking laughter by my side
Strength I seek
The only constant
Just let me
Be by your side
Just let me
Lay my head on your shoulder
Just let me
Hold onto you
When all seem to tear at me
When all seem to rip at me
Just
Just
Hold me in your arms
In this eternal sanctuary
We can truly call ours

2007-04-05T05:06:00.000-07:00

sighs...went back to hall feeling so tired ytd and went to sleep.. woke up with a raging fever that made me feel like i was burning up on the inside.. when a cold shower did not work...ended up cabbing home to the doc.. and now that a day has passed, i must say im much better.. but i still feel achy allover, and i have a sneaking suspicion that the fever is still there.. cos i still feel warm yet cold on occasions... :( lousy doc!!!

2007-03-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

Surprise!!! Ben's coming!! :) *spins arnd in joy*

2007-03-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

As I wait patiently for a surprise only u can give me... As I wait... for a smile that onlu u alone can bring to my lips... I understand, almost wish I didnt...but I do, all too well... Wish I could be there with u right now... wherever u are...to take care of u....to give u a hug...to tell u that il be here as you sleep....to dream with u...and to share a lifetime with u.... -miss u much-

2007-03-25T05:01:00.000-07:00

A test by Colourgenic.... SO true!

At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).You don't feel as if you can go it on your own anymore. You don't want to be taken for granted. You need to be recognised as a 'caring person' and it could be that you are searching to establish a relationship, not necessarily with someone new, but with that someone special who could feel the same way as you do.You are not an argumentative sort of person and 'rather than fight - you'd switch' (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself - as sometimes you may try to do - you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you 'feel' and 'hurt' a lot.You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.

decided to write biiger as realised font quite small.. :)

2007-03-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

it's a wonder how some people can actively be using the computer for a few hrs str... Ive been online for the past 15 mins and ive basically gone and seen n read veything i wanted to haha..read blogs, checked mails, signed in to MSN....ya. ok im done... haha...=) unless i begin to blog la..:) then that shall extend my stay in cyberspace, say, for 10 more mins? :D whenever im in sch and i borrow jun's or val's laptop to use, il stare at it for awhile, actively racking my brains as to where i should go...hahaha...:) ohwells...i guess there isnt too much in cyberspace to attract me i guess... when everything i want, and everything that's impt, is right here with me...:)

finally met Ben after a LLLOOOOONNNGGGG one week...it was baddd...and he was so busy... hmmm then badly wanted to meet him for supper but he was too tired too...and i really dun have the heart to ask him to drive from AMK to boon lay and bac...poor dear... :( But it was so worth it, over this wkend, well it's only been fri and sat, to see his smiles, and hugs! when i was in the car after he had picked me up, i just looked at his smiling profile as he was driving and felt so happyyy, and i knew that I am so in love with this guy... :) today, as we were walking, I was lagging behind, and he turned around to look at me, and extended his hand to me.. so unexpected, and so utterly dear... :)

2007-03-20T07:23:00.001-07:00

my fucking cough is pissing the heck outta me... cldnt even nap properly jus now cos i kept coughing..

(ben called!)

haha omg so funny...=) had a disagreement with my mum just now and apparently she called ben too after that...and he's supposed to be working and unable to call, but i received a call from him! so i ask him, 'can call meh?' To which he says, 'What to do, emergency mah...my wife and my mother-in-law quarrelling...' :D haha!!! its at times like this, when i fall in love with u all over again...thinking abt it just puts a smile on my face...:)

(haha ya i know, its qt a drastic change in mood from my first sentence, hahha but that was BEFORE I got the call from my dear....:)

HOT!!

2007-03-18T04:04:00.001-07:00

so, ive just woken up from a nap and feeling damn fucking hot, cos im in frigging hall and i dun have my beloved aircon....ahhhh! man i love my friday nights, tts when i go home and freeze myself to death, so that i thaw over the wkend in sch, get it? sigh. hav begun coming bac to hall on sat night, so that i get wk done on sunday, which i do acty... completed 816 labrpt and my parrt for 105...but since im doing the last part on data collection too, yea, i hav to continue with it tmr after the 105 meeting... lalala. cant do my AB3 cos cant access the databases, somehow down too...ahhh! ohwellls, am now reading martin guerre, (anyone know who that is) haha basically my reading for hist that i have to finish by tmr... lalala... and its 125 pages!! 0-0 ahhhhhhhhh... ya im not halfway yet ha.. but i will finish!! then il go read 103... bleahhh.. btw am not s/uing 816! :) lalalala... ok i apologise for the 'lalala's randomly inserted here and there ha...:) am now waiting for mum n ben to come so that i can have dinner with them! yay! :) i know im luckyy, still got pple bring food all the wayyy up for me...:D thanks mum and dear!! :)

Miss you!

2007-03-11T09:45:00.001-07:00

Feeling strangely melancholic right now...

I'l always cherish the times that we spent tgt in SCI, sch had never been so fun, so enjoyable, despite all the wk piling up.. u guys are the ones who got me thru first sem without me tearing my hair out.. :) U gave me the strength and the confidence to get thru things, and just know that I'd always be there for any of u... *hug* :)

Dear.. I miss u so much right now.. But we'l get thru this yea? together...:) study hard!! :) I'll be here for u always... I'm the luckiest girl in the world, and I know it.. You're the special one, the only one.. I wish I cld be less selfish, but i want to see u so much.. but il get thru this, bcos I know u need me with u for this... I cant seem to really put into words the proper extent of my feelings for u, but just know this, I love u, and I cant wait for 4 yrs later.. :)

2007-03-08T04:36:00.001-08:00

spent the day studying with val in the ADM library, must say that its really rather conducive! :) then after that we went back to my hall, haha and it was korean madness! I found my fav song from sad love storyy!!!! omg, th song is damn nice!! so absolutely sad, i recommend everyone to watch this drama!! v v v sad... haha yay d/l all the soundtracks now, tho v slow... :) thanks val!!!!!!! :)

on another note altogether, its damn sad for beckham...whywhywhy??! just when an england recall seemed imminent, just when he was back in the first team for real madrid, just when he was going to play in the charity match at old trafford(i think), just when the idiots capello and Mcclaren hav realised their idiocy, he injures his knee....! whywhywhy... just watched the vid on youtube which shows him injured, sighhhh... damn sad... watched his goal against greece in the world cup, the euphoria of the fans when he scored, his joy, it was all so contagious and plain to see... he still has what it takes, and if u tell me that he cannot play, u obviously need to start reading the match stats for his recent games!

2007-03-02T22:40:00.001-08:00

Yay!! I can now add one more accomplishment to the wk: 105 survey critique and 816 AB2 done!!! hahaha... bleahhh but still got 103 and 104 assignmt...gotta research on stuff... hmmm... got meetings on mon too, man, monday's gonna be very busy...CNY is ending way too soon.. but i really had a great time this year, thoroughly enjoyed myself... Is it bcos of my dear? I think so.. haha... =) After talking to him last night, I realised, I have been slowly letting myself do what I want to do.. I'm slowly letting myself live my own life, and do things that I want to, not what She wants me to..which is gd... I guess I've learnt to start living more for myself, I mean it's nth as dramatic as the fact that i dun ahve my own life, but alot of times, when I do things, I have her in mind... Maybe I should now try to live it my way, slowly of cos, haha.. :) But then again, if I were to be able to totally disregard her and live my own life, not caring abt her feelings and such, I wouldnt be me, and I think I'd hate that me. But I realise that there are somethings that should be just for me, and I should do it on my own, and in my own way. :)

2007-03-02T22:39:00.001-08:00

20 Feb '07 Happy Birthday!!!

2007-02-25T01:29:00.000-08:00

The 'wu3long2' at ben's house!

The crystal musical stand he gave me for vday! :)

It plays the tune 'Love Story', coincidentally, one of my favs!
Us at Marriot! To celebrate my dear's birthday!!

The birthday boy looking very cute! (I like this pic!)

Cheese Cake!
Haha, we told the waiter to help us take photos and he decided to direct some scenes! :) Me feeding my dear birthday cake!

And my fav photo of all, my dear looking absolutely cute and sweet when making his birthday wish..! :) When asked abt his wish, he only gave a cryptic,'It's about us.' :)

May your wish come true! :)

2007-02-14T06:49:00.001-08:00

Happy Vday!!! :)

Red roses and Ben-da!! :)

Pillow! :)

Ben-dear and Ben-da!!!!! :)

My dear...

2007-02-14T06:33:00.001-08:00

Happy Valentine's day!!!!! =)

Met my dear today at 4...picked me up from my hall...he didnt tell me where we were going, only that we were goin to catch a movie..then he told me afterwards that we were goin vivocity!! to the Gold Class cinema!! and OMG, we were really treated like kings and queens!! =) haha...the seats were super cmfy, their legrests cld be like tilted up and there were blankets!! haha.... and there were waiters tt wld serve u food when u press a button for service hahaha.. :) really fab! hha watched Miss Potter btw, pretty gd movie... brings bac memories.. =) then after that we went to Nara jap restaurant at novena, our fav place! thank god there were seats..=) as usual, the food there was great...:) And he got me a HUGE bouquet of 19 red roses and a crystal musical stand!! =) for those who didnt know, been working on a pillow for him the past 2 nights... i sewed him one from scratch!! :) really glad that u liked it dear... :) and Ben-da!!! haha its acty the soft toy panda that i got him, but im renaming him ha.. =)
Today was one of the happiest days of my life... i really enjoyed myself.. will never forget my first vday dear...and more imptly, im glad ure the first, and only one ever, I will ever spend my valentine's day with.. :)

Nobody can ever replace you...
You're the only one for me... I love you..

2007-02-04T05:56:00.001-08:00

ouch...My back hurts like hell.. shit, it's acting up again...ccan't move properly......

2007-02-03T09:11:00.001-08:00

Dear, I love you so much so much so much... and I loved the surprise.. thank you..

2007-02-01T07:02:00.001-08:00

There are times when i wonder
about how much you've begun to mean to me
Times without you are hard
and miserable
without you by my side
I don't feel like myself
I'm always looking around
Thinking of u
wondering
hoping
If u might show up suddenly in front of me
A surprise that I wish so much for
I wish could see u right now
Hearing u might suffice
But when I'm no longer convinced
Please be here to hold me

2007-01-31T00:54:00.000-08:00

Today has been one of my most productive days since sch started... its been so long that ive almost forgotten how gd it feels to have accomplished wk that uve set out to do! :) gonna slp late tonite... prob 3am...anyway hist's at 1130 tmr ha.. =) dear cant get deferment but ohwells i still can seee him on the wkend nights, which i shld be thankful for ha... and yes dear, i know she says all that to make me concentrate on my wk... so i wun worry! il concentrate... =) still missing u..

Missing days..

2007-01-30T02:42:00.001-08:00

Today is the first day of his reservist course..sighhh, realise that I really miss him alot...won't be able to see him for awhile...but il try! cos he'll be booking out every night...but i know ure tired dear... :) so lets see ok? hope we can go for supper tonight... really really miss u!! :( ure my rock.. :) I promised u I won't worry, and I won't. :)

Fucked up day/pple

2007-01-23T07:17:00.001-08:00

Today was one of the worst day of my life. First, illusion shattered, sorry, but turns out that ur character doesnt add up to ur face...but omg, i jus wasnt expectg those comments, so i guess tts why it got to me so.... then yea, the thing i signed up for? yea shall not name names here, but u all know wad zeinab n i signed up for... its so totally crap...arghhh... jus very not us la...sigh... chronicle, here we come..

but on a more serious note, i HATE it, fucking hate it, when pple see one side of me n think to themselves ok, thats all there is to this person... i have my silly moments, but im not silly ALL THE FUCKING time! There is another side to me, n when im being silly n say stupid things, those are mere moments. Dun judge me like that..and by what unreasonable stds u have. im jus really mad at this, call it my pet peeve, but yea,this really gets to me.. so my conclusion is, all the pple i wnt to know at the moment, i know. im content n happy... cos the pple im with understd me and know that there are times when i am silly n when im serious.. and they are completely fine with that... they dun go like 'omg she's an airhead'. and im really, REALLY thankful for that. I'd honestly rather have jus a few frens, than many pple who dun get me.
and dear, thanks for saying all that to me.. ilu..

2007-01-18T06:10:00.001-08:00

hmmm been awhile since i posted... wanted to post sth last wk, but sth was wrong with blogger n i cldnt..didnt feel like blogging til now... hmmm been a happy few days...ben's been coming over, popping by sometimes even in the afternoons...I feel really lucky sometimes, n he tells me he feels the same... =) Like he said:'This is for life.' :)
been bac to sch for two weeks now...slowing getting bac on track....finally gettg my momentum bac....which im really glad for, cos ive been panicking n worrying for the past wk over the fact hat i cant seem to sit down n study, then worry abt it somemore when i find that i really cant!!! haha....man it was an awful feeling...=) but things are fine now, n it's bac to work once more...yupyup, ive gotta work hard, cos its only when u put in effort, that u get the things u ask for..(well most of the time) =D
jus wanted to say this...was walking bac to hall on wed, when it struck me that thi group of frens that i have with me now, il rmb forever, cos they saw me thru uni life and was part of my whole experience... from saving u guys seats in the mornings, to hanging out in my hall or at JP... these il always hold close to my heart.. :)

2007!

2007-01-01T02:19:00.001-08:00

It's the new year finally...hmmm but it didnt feel any different today frm ytd.. but im a happy gurl, cos its been a gd n rocking year with heartache n pain but coming thru in the end.. my wish came true last night.. =) been a pretty happy year all in all n im glad and contented.. =) i know that 2007 promises to be more.. =)

I will love you more and more.

2006-12-25T03:44:00.000-08:00

yay! it has been a gd few days n year on the whole... came down with gastritis the last few wks and guess what? ive got food poisoning...ON XMAS day...sigh...ohwells...been home the whole day...vomitted n diarhoea as well.. =( ohwells but my two wishes came true! =) spent our first xmas tgt over pizza at home. =) counted down tgt, of cos, this was the night b4 food poisoning.. ;p haha and we went xmas shopping tgt on the 23rd, and had dinner at our fav jap place...=) was super duper happy...that i was able to spend some alone time tgt with him...=) and presents this yr?? haha ben gave me a Guess bag and mum got me a Guess wallet... =D YES!! i finally have them!! haha...=) n sis's gonna pay for our tics to phantom of the opera nex yr! =) haha.... =) im gonna get sis n bro-in-law an OTO massager, and him a belt...=) got mum a pair of shoes.. =) yay!!!! All in all, im pretty darn happy..=D

last xmas i gave u my heart

2006-12-21T06:32:00.000-08:00

wow, again its a long time since i last blogged..hmm let's see, i vaguely rmb that i had much to say prior to typing this but now i cant rmb..this prob is the reason for my inertia(to blog) haha.. ohwells, the results for the electives is taking such a looong time....and our exam results too....sighhh...or are they out n i dunno?? haha... hope not.. :) gonna be xmas soon and i havnt finished my xmas shopping!! sighs, but at least i know what to get... its just a case of knowing where to get...tmr gotta work again...n sat's tuition from ten to 2pm...bleahhh...every mth, 16 hrs of my life is wasted away with the 2 boys... at least they're qt guai...else i'd really strangle them!!!

xmas's coming soon, and i hope that my wish will come true. :)

2006-12-15T07:37:00.000-08:00

let's see:
Mon: work
Tues: Gastritis - extreme pain, rolled in bed in agony
Wed: stuck in bed
Thurs: stuck in shop - went hm, slept
Fri: work, - watched Eragon with dear :) not such a bad end to a wk at all... :)

2006-12-10T08:33:00.000-08:00

smile! :)

looking at the tortoises in the pond

on the way to kusu island!
mum n i!
at kusu island!
mum, ben n me! :)

wow been a long time since i last posted...hmm the timetable thing has been driving me absolutely nuts! hate it! speaking of which...i gotta go check the results...anyone knows when we will know which elective's given to us? ohwells pretty lazy to post these days.... shall put up pics! :)

=)

2006-12-04T06:40:00.001-08:00

I watched happy feet on sat!!! with my dear! =) haha havnt laughed so much during a movie in awhile..:) haha i love nicole kidman n hugh jackman! man, brittany murphy and nicole kidman can really sing...haha i like the opening song b/w hugh j. and kidman the best! :) 'U dun have to be rich, to rule my world...!' :D then went to jared's bday party after that! =) hope u had lotsa fun n a gd bday!! =) i love nip/tuck n stairway to heaven!!! =)

ohyea, started wk today..ohwell, there's income..:)

hols!

2006-11-25T04:59:00.001-08:00

hello! been a long time since i last blogged haha.. :) the day after exams, went to mum's office to hang arnd and it was so super boring sighh... hmmm was jus too lazy to get my laptop outta my bag and start blogging haha... i hate fixing up all the friggin' wires!! hmm exams are finally over and im pretty darn happy... :) when are we getting our results pple? via edventure? hmmm.. ohwells...will be home till sch starts again next yr...and i gotta move everything bac in...arghhh sucky.. hmmmm gonna start wking soon, dec 4! bac at the same place where i worked last hols...haha yay extra cash!! :) gonna reward myself at the end of the hols with a Guess wallet!!! i dun care, i am goin to buy that!!!! :D (my mum has been tryg to dissuade me u see) ;p
yay no more exams means i get to see my dear more ha.. :) boiboi!!!!! haha (omg he'll kil me if he sees this) ;p hahah... u never fail to make me smile, no matter how angry or upset i may be... i miss u!
hahaha ohya xmas means xmas sale!!! clothes n more clothes! let's see, ive alr bought a pair of shoes, a dress(finally) and i white skirt!!! lalalla im a happy gurl.. :D

Kusu Island!

2006-11-19T02:15:00.001-08:00

I had the most fun today in a long time.. :) went to Kusu Island with mum and ben!!! haha had lotsa fun...photos coming up! :)

2006-11-17T21:59:00.000-08:00

There's no other reason other than the fact that u're the one who keeps me stable in this tumultous world, the one who takes away my fears and worries and makes me calm again, knowing that u'll figure a way out, and u understand my concerns. 'Don't ever think that i'm distancing myself from u.' Just these words were enough to make me realise why is it that i love u so.

2006-11-17T01:30:00.001-08:00

sigh. 108!!! jiayou!! :)

Because words say it all

2006-11-16T21:47:00.000-08:00

Tim McGraw- Live like you were dyin'

He said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,

[Chorus]

I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.

[Chorus]

Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.

[Chorus]
Sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.

Beatles- Yesterday

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Bryan Adams- Everything I do- I do it for you

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you finally there you will search no more
Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for
You know it’s true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into my heart - you will find
There’s nothin’ there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for
I can’t help it there’s nothin’ I want more
Ya know it’s true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There’s no love - like you love
And no other - could give more love
There’s nowhere - unless you’re there
All the time - all the way
Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
I can’t help it there’s nothin’ I want more
I would fight for you - I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Ya I’d die for you

Ya know it’s true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Bryan Adams- Please Forgive Me

Still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss, it's gettin' better baby
No one can better this...
Still holdin' on, you're still the one
First time our eyes met, same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger, wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on...
So if you're feelin' lonely don't
you're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
so if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me, I know not what I do...
...I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through...
...if I need ya like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true...
...our best times are together...
...touch, still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough...
Still holdin' on, still number one
I remember the smell of your skin...everything
...all your moves...you, yeah!
...the nights ya know I still do...
...One thing I'm sure of is the way we make love
And one thing I depend on is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...
...Never leave me I don't know what I'd do...

Queen- Love of my life

Love of my life, you've hurt me
You've broken my heart, and now you leave me
Love of my life, can't you see...
Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me
Because you don't know, what it means to me

Love of my life, don't leave me
You've taken my love, you now desert me
Love of my life can't you see...
Bring it back bring it back, don't take it away from me
Because you don't know, what it means to me
You will remember, when this is blown over
And everything's all by the way
When I grow older I will be there at your side to remind you
How I still love you (I still love you)

Back hurry back, please bring it back home to me
Because you don't know, what it means to me
Love of my life, Love of my life, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh

Sarah Mclachlan- Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

Jason Mraz- Life is wonderful

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful
Full circle
Wonderful

Because looking at lambos make me extremely happy

2006-11-16T21:35:00.000-08:00

Lamborghini Murcielago: *drools* i really want a car like that... damn!

Tribute to my one and only England Captain

2006-11-09T02:24:00.000-08:00

Captain Always
(John Terry? Please.)

The Look :)

Smile :)

Positioning..

Lines up..

Kicks!

How do u beat that...

That's why it's called a 'Beckham Freekick'.

Stupid McClaren.

bliss

2006-11-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

my poor dear is sick...
it's getting increasingly difficult to separate my wants and what i want best for him..why is it becoming so difficult? i wish love wasnt so selfish.

sigh

2006-11-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

i am so bored. like i cant absorb anymore after 111...ahhh i need to change sth to study. shall study 102 or 101 now. shit. this sucks. i hate this feeling of restlessness. really getting to me..arghh. hope my dear comes soon. to save me from this boredom. mygod.wth. ahh

2006-11-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

haha yay found out frm jared today how to post pics...=) yay!
today was major cam-whoring session haha during 107...shall post the pics after ive got them....:)
yay 108 is finally over! dun have to think abt it now...hmmm but have to speed up on my studying...shit....shall not slp again tonite...yuppp...:) more coffee i guess....sigh have alr had two cups today, then later another one, bleahhh very bad for health....shall try to cut down on my caffeine intake...!!! im gettg abit sick of can 2 food...sighhh i dun feel like goin down to get dinner...maybe il jus starve myself in the rm hahaha...;p bleahh.... i gotta mugmugmug... it's all the way now..no regrets.

2006-11-07T17:56:00.001-08:00

missing my dear!!! :) but really happy now....who shld be the first person i see when i go on MSN upon returning to hall?? my dear!!! :) sighs really miss u so much.. been talking in sch abt the eye candy thing and it really got me thinking..i may find them cute or anything, but at the end of the day, if i were to think abt it...i cant see myself gettg tgt with any of them....they jus can't compare...i'll never find someone who understds me so well as u do....when i told u that i felt bad abt havg eye candies, u told me that i had to experience it to know it...jus felt it was really sweet and understding of u....n i can tell u that now, i know that there can be no one else for me... like i said, this is forever, and i mean every word i say....

first one, right one, last one

2006-11-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

wow im so super tired....man... came bac from 108 proj meeting at abt 10+...saw my mum n ben in my room...with all the food laid out for me....sometimes i think i dun tell her enough that i really appreciate it... now that they've left and i think bac, its was really very nice of her to bring dinner up for me...sigh...time's like this, it makes me really want to do her proud..and that i will.
still rather tired, think il take tonight to have a gd rest....tmr at 830 still gotta meet for 108, hais hoe no more screw-ups this time....
when i was walking bac to hall the other day from hall 4, i was just thinking abt us and wad things willl be like....and it jus made me smile as i walked along.... :)

in the midst of it all..

2006-10-31T19:13:00.000-08:00

sighhh u wld not believe how absolutely high i was ytd...but when the glucose AND caffeine high wears off...omg....im not kidding...its damn fucking bad... sat in front of the comp in maclab from 630 to 1020....wow...mygod, my eyebells were going to shrivel up and fall off lars....but heyyy audio's left....sighh then gotta go bac later to do again sigh...bleahh...came bac, lasted till 2am with my 111 and crashed...today, woke up at 10....and now im bac staring at 111....omg how many versions of s'pore's past must i read b4 alfred thinks we are sufficiently educated?!!
i think ive reached the stage whereby i finally am able to relax and let u do things....many times il msg u and remind u abt how to say some things cos im afraid that u might say the wrong thing to her....but now, i think im over that...i know u can handle urself, much more than i can do to myself ha.. but ive been missing u alot...im glad that il finally be able to see u today! :) gdluck and all the best for ur presentation, u can do it! :)

2006-10-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

hmmmm havnt been blogging in awhile...its always like this, when i dun have my comp, i think of a million things to blog abt, but once im with my laptop, its a blank.....
was doing the term paper abt abortion and got pretty sad while i was at it....reading abt what pple go thru, the decisions that they are faced with...im definitely pro-life, but i realise how difficult it is to make that decision to keep the beby....ultimately, it lies with how much importance you accord with the things in ur life.... but the reasons behind the roe v. wade ruling/ definitely flawed.
hmmmm not going to be able to see my dear again till the end of the wk....it's only been a day but i miss u alr...do take care of urself alright? dun want u to fall sick, wun be able tp take care of u now if u do, with me being in sch and all..since we're both so busy with wk from this week onwards, let's strive and wk hard tgt!!! :)

2006-10-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

been slogging like hell the past nights doin 108 paper...9 pges done, 3 more to go...yay! haha i think i'l have a headache doing citations sigh.. slept at 3am last night doing 108...wth...hmmm but its qt nice to be up so late...was acty pretty pductive too...=) haha thanks to coffee!!
waiting for ben to come pick me up to go for dinner tgt...yay! finally some alone time...havnt had an 'alone' dinner with him for qt awhile...im sry dear that u got scolded...i jus feel abit scared and bad for u..that u got scolded bcos of me...il make it up to u..=) i promise! cant wait to see u....

Dreams

2006-10-25T00:43:00.000-07:00

haha u people must be thinking how i can blog during sch hours...ahha im using zeinab's comp!! am typing the 111 notes on her laptop...haha then we'll share the notes....rmb to send me ah zeinab.... :) hmmm am wearing all black today bcos of today's halloween theme...haha supposed to be black and orange but ive no orange top!!! except the HC carnival shirt lars...but no im not wearing that...hmmm going to rain soon!!! yay!!! ok tonite, after doing 108 video editing in sch, im gong to go bac to start on my 108 essay, then im going to start revision alr...yuppp! il sleep late tonite...anyway im qt awake after 2 cups of coffee ahaa... :)

A silent sleep
for an eternity
despair and heartbreak
mingled in a bitter drink of hope
An unspoken promise
to wait
to hope
to stay
Hope wanes
with time
and repetition of the promise to self
Hope's a burden
She wishes she can fling off
Guilt scars
her lacerated heart
She lets go
guilt a shadow in her mind
Finds happiness
hope
a line
severed forever
From his eternal sleep
tears fall
He wishes
for a dream that he had been having
one that he wished
he had not woken up from
Promises broken
No guilt to pin
He will not
A dream's a dream
It was his dream.

dim sum!

2006-10-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

yo! :) haha ytd was a very happy day...:) really enjoyed myself spending the whole day with my dear... :) lalala haaha... hmmmm im qt happy....think she has more or less come to terms with it.....hmmm ya, cos she's been telling me things like 'ok, must take care of urself....dun go too far etc etc....'haha yupp....and she started talking abt the future and stuff.... :D haha yay!!! happyhappy....:) hmmmm i miss u dear....wun be able to see u for a few days!!! :( haha but there's always the wkend! :)

lalala had dim sum buffet ytd...yay! went to harbourfront centre's Dragonboat Restaurant ahha....veryvery nice...:) sighhhh shall go do my 108 vid nw... in the comp lab now acty...but the video is pissing me off....think the cam's like abit f-ed up haha....sighhh have to stay bac today in sch to do it...bleahhh!!! i need to do my term proj paper for 108 tonite...die die have to start today!!! and i must start organising my revision..!! :)

lala

2006-10-23T18:11:00.000-07:00

im so pissed! stupid internet suddenly got some prob and closed all my windows...arghhhh...anyway........
im still very confused as to wad she wants....she's ok in front of him , but in front of me's another story...im qt tired of this acty...but il jus go along and see how it goes....i know very well wad i want....this is the first time that im doing sth for myself and myself alone, not for anyone else.... and im not going to give it up.. :)
im fucking tired after one whole day of lects...like wtf....then was trying to upload the 108 video and had so many problems...then had to lug the stupid thing bac some more, sucks!!! hmmm but pple said our vid( wad snatches they cld catch) haha very artsy-fartsy...ahahhaha.....ok pple....thanks for the vote of confidence haha...but i hope the finished pdt comes well tgt...ok! gtg...meet my mum at city hall, then him later... yay! :)

2006-10-22T18:41:00.000-07:00

In this sound of darkness
I stand
With my hands cupped
I hear nothing
This emptiness
Scares me
Yet I can’t bear to hear the silence
My thoughts a riot within
Drowning out this deafening cacophony
I whirl
Till lights dance before my eyes
In this darkness
I hear nothing
The sound of my own heart
A shuddering last breath
Before the lights come on
In this last dance
That I’ll ever have
With myself again

2006-10-22T18:23:00.000-07:00

im very very bored.....ahrrghhhhh....sign ther are times when i want to stand in front of an oncoming vehicle...today seems like the perfect day.... to cheer myself up, i spoke to my dear, surfed youtube,surfed the net some more, stared at my 102 notes, surfed for hot pics of beckham..and ohya, listening to rocking gd songs... i love bon jovi....
ok tried to post pics of beck but i think i need a program to do it haha...cant copy n paste haha..sighhhhsss.....im bored fucking bored....n frigging outta sorts....
dear come quick..

why?

2006-10-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

yuppps....back in hall now...pretty early today...but guess its gd....shall study for my 102....its strange but i feel very not stressed abt it....i have no idea why...technically i shld be panicking, cos ive done one reading only, but im not!!! im still here blogging haha....sighhh....ok hope the panic hits me soon....but maybe its becos i normally do keep up with readings...but im not too fond of this feeling...haha i want to panic!!!! i have to revise!!! haha...:)
this was a horrible weekend...i really dun feel like goin bac hm next wkend again....sighhh...why dun u understd that its a mistake for me to make? if its a mistake in the first place, cos i know its not... why cant u jus let me be happy and u urself be happy too? why must u dig up things and quarrel with me abt? why must u force me to make a choice? why do u think that u can jus tell me to stop and distance myself and i will obey? is it a result of me giving in to u too much? why do u feel this way? weren't u happy? I thought things were going fine.... I shld not have to make a choice........
im so sorry dear....that u have to go thru this.....i really wish u were by my side..

cough!!!

2006-10-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

my god...im coughing like mad!! gdness....seems like it's getting worse, well at least right at this moment...shit lars...then i cant take med now cos it'll make me drowsy and i need to study!!! :( ok i gotta quickly go mug.... maybe il take a nap later in the day...but im so happy that 111 is over!!! like OVER!!!! haha i dun have to think abt it anymore! sighh was thinking that il be free after next mon, then i rmbed that we still have the 108 research paper wth...ahhh...im qt stressed out suddenly.... ahh lotsa things to do!!! :( sat's filming....gonna finish it all in one day!!! yuppp we must!! :) ohya, gonna have to start 102 tmr!! (cough cough)

melancholia

2006-10-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

In a strangely melancholic mood now.... after typing the email to sonya.....realised that i really do miss her qt alot..hmmmm and i dun e=want this friendship to ever change.....i dun think i cld take it if it did.... hmmmm jus miss having her arnd amd talking to her....abt the many things that i can only talk to her abt and she me....sighhh i guess i jus miss that feeling.... i miss u gurl!!!!! :) all of a sudden u seem so far away..... i'll be waiting till u get bac!!!! shall continue to miss u in the meantime....wahhh it's fate, jus now was playg 'rmb the time' by MJ and now 'I will always love u' by WH....sighhh its contributing to my mood...:(
i miss my dear...he's got a headache....sighhh do take care of urself....we always worry abt each other so much....he asked me the other day, 'don't u think we are both pretty lovey-dovey? haha but im glad we're BOTH like that..' :) haha so sweet!!!! sighhh i really miss his company....feels lonely without him by my side..... if uve seen the best, u jus won't feel a need to look arnd anymore....nth else measures up..

2006-10-16T22:05:00.000-07:00

In 108 now haha...yay i know how to use Flash now! =) think its qt fun ahha.....anyway jared is so lame....ET phone home...haha u thought of it first!!! well anyway....goin to eat luch later, after the 108 meeting which i hope will only take half an hr haha.....hmmmmph..ytd nite was madness....wasnt feeling well cos i felt abit feverish.....then had a bad headache but still had to go for the 111 meeting....damn sian lars......1030 to 0200 lehs...it's frigging madness!!!! sighs i cant wait for thursday!!!! yay! then 111 will finally be OVER muahahahhaa.....now must do 108...sobs...ok blog later....go for meeting now... :)

It's not a coincidence that we met

2006-10-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

am currently in the hostel....packing my stuff and waiting for ben to pick me up....jus finished watching the anime fate stay night!!!! very very nice anime...tho i wasnt too fond of the ending....sighhs havnt watched anime in a long while....felt gd...=)
went to meet ben at JP today...=) dun eat at bentobox pple...its not very nice....hmmm well anyway we went to the arcade after tt....haha too crowded at daytona so we played capcom vs marvel...haha fun!!!!! tho i was jus bacsicall banging away at the controls haha....of cos, i lost....sighhhs now i owe him a favour....ahhhh why???!!!!! =( haha well anyway was glad to spend time tgt..we talked abt communication today during 101, and i can say that we communicate very well...i can tell him wadever's on my mind cos i know he wldnt judge....and he'd understd....and he really does...and he can tell me anything too...how did i get so lucky? simin told me that since ive been with him, ive become happier, more carefree... and i think that's the case too...he's become the support in my life, things that used to bother me alot dun bother me so much now....ive become a happier person becos of him.....he takes away my doubts and fears, and he'll always be there for me.. I guess this is wad ive always been looking for...one person who almost exists wholly for me....to know that im special to this person....and i him.

2006-10-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

yay!!!! im currently using jun's laptop to blog...hahahaa.....it's her bday today!!!! that';s why im so nice to her today hahahahaha....no lars im always nice to her...i love talking to her....she brings out the inner crappiness within me hahah.... =) always crap with her as i like her reactions to my crappy ans haha...=) lalalala....am v v high now!!!! ahahha....mum's coming over tonight to bring me dinner!!! yay!!!! haha i finally get to eat gd food! =D i miss homecooked food!!! =) ok been pretty busy the past few days...cos 107 assignmt was due today and tmr's 111 term proj presentation....ahhhh but its mostly done so i cant wait for tmr!!! illl be one very free person ahaha...=) (what u waiting what u waiting for...) <----- tts jun singing...=D
HC maf was ok.... we sang songs and everything.....haha which was pretty fun i guess....=) but i was really tired after tt....hmmm at least i didnt have to dance!!! haha...=)
pple call me!!! i wun pick up...listen to a nice song!!!!! sexyback!!!! hahahhaa.......when i used to wk before i entered ntu, i wld call myself during wk hahaha.....=) im wearing all black today...! bcos its rainbow day!!! but black is not part of the spectrum!!!! but too bad!!!!! its still a colour....or a lack of colour!!!! hahahaha....=) ok im super high....ben says its raining...but i dun feel cold!! haha gtg toilet with jun now....tsktsk she ah....hahaha ok ciao!

asshole

2006-10-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today was an ultra fucked up day. Consultation with a lecturer today pissed me off immensely................. guess what proj i have left pple? guess which lect???? ya the hum sup one..... fucked up lars....
ok was alr not a very gd day cos it didnt start well....ok was getting very confused over the proj and every one jus kinda lost focus, like we weren't clear abt wad we were supposed to do....but after awhile we nailed it down so everything was looking pretty gd....we decided to set up a consultation with asshole to see if we were going in the right direction....ok so we went in and he gave us some pts and pointed us in the general direction, tts fine. so it was goin pretty gd....then some girl came in and i think they had a prior appointmt so he told her he'd be done in 10 mins....it was a pretty gurl lars, so being the hum sup asshole that he is, he looked totally excited. asshole. anyway,i brought up a pt that he had raised himself earlier as i felt that there was some prob with it and i wanted to clarify. before i finished my thought, he said,' ok lars, if i dont give u sth, u pple wldnt leave. but i didnt want to tell u like tt cos tt means i cant give u the credit anymore.' those were his EXACT words. and he went on to give a crappy pt that we had alr scrapped tts why we didnt mention. like wtf, he only wanted to get rid of us!!! and i wasnt even asking for a pt u asshole.... and when we present, i can jus imagine him with that fucking smug smile on his face...fuck off asshole.
anyway, sonya made me feel better after i explained to her the situation...

sonya/ i am intimate with pornya says:
huh, i don't get it
sonya/ i am intimate with pornya says:
OH OH ok
sonya/ i am intimate with pornya says:
WAH. asshole.
sonya/ i am intimate with pornya says:
blah. idiot. be bitchy to him (: esp when he's not looking

yupp...sounds gd to me.. :)

:)

2006-10-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

Life was normal
I went about my days
Never aware of an emptiness in me
Used to remember days when I would wake
When I would stop in mid-argument
And think
I havn't been truly happy
Not so in a long time
Happiness was an elusive imp
that danced just out of my reach
I wasn't even aware
When you became indispensable
When it became such
I couldn't do without you
You made me smile
You made me laugh
You told me my smile was special
And made me believe that it was truly so
For the first time in my life
I realised that there was someone
Someone who knew my innermost thoughts
Who understood
And knew me
Just as I was
Who loved me
Just as I was
When it seemed bleak
I promised myself
I'll fight for you
I still mean it
And I'm glad that we never gave up
Not once
Not ever
It just didn't cross our minds
This was too precious to let go
I'll never meet someone like you ever again
Of that I'm very sure
How could there be someone else who loved me as much as you do
How could there be someone else who could make me feel this way
I know this is meant to be
With all my heart
I'll walk forever with you
Always

1 how

2006-10-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

heyy....am in shawn how's lesson now and as usual he's goin so slow that im dropping off to sleep ahhh.....ytd was another night of slping at 2+am haha....i qt like slping at that time....was acty not tired when i went to slp, but had to, or i'd be pretty comatose the next day....was supposed to wake up at 7am today, but i snoozed all the way from 7 to 9am haha....man im so super lazy....sighs but i always have difficulty getting up in the morning....
anyways.....got new toilet mates!they moved into the room next door over the wk hols....hmmm i dun really know them, but im not super fond of them cos they're very gross!!! they like hang all their unmentionables everuwhere and jus leave it in the toilet like that....eck...pls lors i dun really want to know what's ur size....arghhhhh...what an eyesore!!!
hmmmmm got 108 meeting with my grp later.......hmmmms.....hopefully we'll be able to get our topic out by today....then wed's meeting with 111 grp....hmmm think things' are goin qt well, jus that we tend to lag haha...:)
ohya ate lunch with jared ytd,haha the grp's getting smaller!!!! haha no lars....it was an interesting session haha....:) talked alot and confirmed lotsa things! haha....
gonna see my dear today! yay! :) hmmm havnt had much alone time with him lately....can't wait to see him!
going bac to HC MAF on sat...hmmm dunno why im goin bac either sigh..i can count on one hand the pple im goin to talk to.....i find it so fake that we havnt met up as a class in god knows how long and now when we go bac we're jus going to feel this overwhelming sense of love and belonging to the class n sch...pls......when simin asked me my first rxn was like 'no'...haha then she looked so shocked cos i didnt even tink before answering!haha but ohwell it'd be gd seeing some pple....lets' hope we have fun!!! but pls....i dun want to dance the mass dance.........! ;p

pls pple, trample all over my heart :)

2006-10-02T02:08:00.000-07:00

ok. so my tagboard is not up yet..... :( i need help!!!!! haha..... sighhh gonna ask one of u guys to help me with the stupid tagbd when i see u guys in sch later...cos its acty 2.08am now...yuppp and im feeling pretty awake....think im really qt nocturnal haha...
hmmmm the whole wk has not been too pdtive...finished my assignments but i ddnt get down to doing any revisn ahhhhh....ohwellls more late nights coming up!! ;p
still coughing like crazy......seen the doc a third time....ahhh they're fleecing me of my money...sighhh really hope i get well this time after finishing the medication....
i hate the fact that i go shopping, and i end up not buying anything....arghhhh why......
and my stupid 101 has EIGHT frigging hypothesis. that takes up half a pg on its own!!! its the most useless thing ive ever done....sucks!!!!!!!
ok im done complaining.
ha. like i ever will.
stupid pointless exercise!!!
hmmmmmmmm
i guess there really shld be no secrets between friends....but i also believe in the fact that there is a right time for everything... if my friend is not telling me sth now, it cld be bcos she's nt confortable yet or that it cld not be the right time yet, so i respect and trust that the person will tell me in due time......it's the same for me, its not that i keep things from pple...but i jus feel that i need time sometimes to think things thru first and formulate thoughts and when the right time comes, i'll then tell the person.....trust between friends is very impt...however i must say that there are very few pple who wld truly say things that are on their minds the moment it comes to them....but im really glad to have met really really gd frens in sci...pple who i can really confide in and talk abt things that are close to my heart... well u know who u are... :) hence the blog add :)
im the kind of person who doesnt need a large grp of close friends...i can survive with a handful...as i go thru pri, sec, and jc, i really treasure those who stay with me....ive known sonya for close to 9 years and she's still my bestest friend, n i know that will never change....it's a nice feeling to have... :) i can count on one hand my closest friends, and i jus want to say thanks for being there for me, as i will be for u always. :) ,
i cannot imagine what it will be like if i had never met u...i'd never have known such pain but neither would i have ever known such immense happiness. I would still have gone on searching for that perfect someone,, going thru life and meeting pple who i might develop feelings for...but i would not have known u...I have never met someone like u, n honestly, i know that i will never ever find someone qt like u, of that im very very sure..ure the only one for me. :)

tagbd!!

2006-09-27T08:07:00.000-07:00

yupp! i need a tagboard....ok if all goes well, when u read this post, my tagbd shld be up as well.. :) was going to go back to hostel tonight n stay for the week to do work...hmmm but since ive finished my 102 report, i'll not go bac! since the rest are not too urgent things.... yupp..:) and nat, yupp ure right! :D things are official and looking gd... I'm just so happy that all our efforts were worth it and that things worked out in the end... :)
this hols has been extremely unpdtive...sighhh....went to PS to have a 111 meeting today n im glad it was qt pdtive haha.....having another on sat....ahhh my sat is goneee............... morn: meeting 3-7: tuition. i have no life!!!!!!! ahhh...... :(
yuppp i better get started on my wk soon...hmmm but i guess what's left's jus catching up on wk....no more pressing assignmts except for 101 coding yea????? haha someone pls tell me yes...! =)

25th sept

2006-09-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

It's official. :) After going through so much, it's finally official.

bday!

2006-09-22T04:58:00.000-07:00

We stayed over at zeinab's house on thurs nite... :) (i love ur hs n the curry n the chips n the salsa sauce!!) I had a really great time.... :) thanks gurl!!!! haha we laughed like crazy and it was a massive photo-taking session as usual...:) had fun playing with jun on the swing haha n watching the *stars...! ;p went upstairs n played twister, heart attack n truth or dare...haha or more like jus truth...seems like sleepovers always end up playg this game ha.... :) after the rest left, me, nat, val and zeinab got comfy and watched MTV while we talked further into the night....ended up slping at 230am ha.... was really comatose during vivian's lect....im sry jared, but she bores me to tears................................................ my god lars...it was a long 2 hrs...:( went out n sang bday song for the bday gurl zeinab! :) glad ure happy!! *hug*

went to JP (where else) after tt for lunch with nat, jal, jun and jared....hahaha yay!!!!!! i beat them at daytona in both beginners n advanced!!! hahaha... ;p
met him after tt...went to crystal jade la mian xiao long bao...ahhh the food's really gd...haha but the la mian that he ordered was really bad!!!! it was like noodles in peanut butter soup...haha sry dear, shldnt have told u to try tt out...;p but we loved the xiao long bao...crystal jade rocks!!!! after lunch was another round of daytona, where i was subsequently thrashed by the master himself...sighhh damn sad lars for my ego...;p haha... went to walk ard somemore...ended up at ntuc ahha...:)

I always felt that I can't take care of u the way u take care of me...but after hearing what u said today...im convinced...maybe it's meant to be...that i'll jus never be able to take care of u more than u of me... if u tell me not to worry abt things, i won't.. if u tell me to let u take care of matters, i will... i trust u.. I have faith in this, and knowing that ure with me all the way gives me all the strength i need.. :)

ZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

2006-09-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

Today was major sleeping day......!!! I slept in all 3 lectures today.....each dozed off for like 5 to 10 mins ha....=) was super tired after sleeping at 4 last night...haha i think i slept the most during 101, cldnt help it!!! she was So boring, and there were no slides somemore, so sleep lars haha....;p
well anyways, the day didnt start off too well, as i reached sch like 15 mins late.....the ntu bus system sucks!!!!! ohwells...

Today was PINK day!
I shall put up the pics once i get them.... :)

ok i shall now go back to doing my 102 AND 111 project presentation....wish me all the best pple!!! =)

Baked oysters!!!!! yumyum! :)

:)

2006-09-19T22:45:00.000-07:00

HI!!! I've decided to start a blog to document my uni days...=) used to have a blog but stopped updating that after i left jc...:) so this shall be my new blog...:D

went to JP today to meet him... :) was really happy to see him... Although we've been spending quite alot of time tgt, everytime i see him, i jus get happier n happier... :) We went to subway to eat(my first time!) haha n i must say that the food is really not bad!!! haha it was really quite hilarious how jun, jared and zeinab were tailing behind me so that they can see him haha... :) after lunch....we went to crystal jade to have some soup.....then we went to play daytona!!!!! haha and after like FIVE games...i finally beat him!!!! :D (immensely happy) hhaa....but honestly i only overtook him at the very last pt...ahah but who care...i won!!! :) No matter how difficult things are....i promise you that il never give up...

hmmm we then went back to sch n had 107...haha pretty fun session...watched Outfoxed...now im tempted to watch the channel n see if its really so damn biased...=) Then chopra gave alot of anecdotes....i think its pretty cool that she's got so much experience....yupps...haha n i think she qt effectively endeared herself to many pple today....;p

I finished my article!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gdness felt immense joy n satisfaction after i finished...haha...yay!! :)

Ive got 2 presentations on thurs...how is this possible....arghhhhhhh....nvm, il jus get it over n done with....=) after thurs, im goin to be one very happy gurl... :)